Combine this article at Cracked…and this article from The Psychology of Video Games…and a lot of things sort of fell into place regarding the character choices I make in games, and how that relates to the notion “idealized self”.
I play mostly (but not exclusively) women characters in games.
Some of that has to do with the fact that I like strong female archetypes better than I like strong male archetypes – It is my firm belief that basically all of Sigourney Weaver’s heroines could kick all of Bruce Willis’ hero’s collective asses in a cage fight.
Yes, that belief includes Linda in Snow Cake.
Some of it has to do with growing up in a single parent household with two younger sisters, who I definitely looked up to. So having a Jane Shepard is, in a way, an homage to my sister who was The Popular One and The Smart One.
And part of it is that image of “idealized self”.
There are many, many times that I REALLY don’t like being a man. Like…when observing the behavior of men. My father died when I was young, and I was raised in that aforementioned Single Parent Household. I missed out on a LOT of the Father to Son ‘indoctrination’ that I think happens in families, and so, in some ways I relate to the Cracked article, and in others, I REALLY don’t – but I see in my peers and in strangers on the interwebs essentially ALL of those behaviors listed in the article, and it honestly makes me ashamed to be a man. I was raised ‘better’ than that. There is an evolutionary component to those behaviors that I’m stuck with, but I’m aware of them, and I work hard to not let them get in the way of who I choose to be.
So, with the Cracked Article in mind…
#5 – I do NOT believe that I am ‘owed’ a ‘hot girl’. I’d love a ‘girl that wants the same things out of life as me’, really. I do believe that there’s someone out there for everyone…
#4 – See #5. WHO you are is way more important to me than what you look like. That’s part of the reason I’ve ever been to a strip club but twice in my life. They’re all about what you look like, and nothing about who you are.
#3 – I’ve had a few relationships that were poor decisions, based on awesome sex. That’s about as far down the ‘risk taking’ road I’ve gone. I can totally wait the two hours, and it baffles and embarrasses me to consider the reality that a surprising number of dudes just can’t.
#2 – Women didn’t take our Man Card. We gave it away under some misguided notion that it’s impossible to be a civilized member of society, AND still climb rocks and fall out of trees and drink whiskey socially. We clean up and play nice in the hopes of Getting The Girl. However, it’s kind of an open secret that women definitely have “The Man Card” when it comes to, say, sharing bathroom secrets (Girl, you shoulda seen the log I just dropped!)
I wonder sometimes which women actually prefer, in general. The genteel, good provider dude with the house and picket fence, who’s always home on time, or the guy who’s just genuine all the time – the guy who definitely wants a family, but also would love to have that family in an RV, homeschooling their way around the country – The guy who will be riding downhill mountain bikes, learning parkour, and still falling out of trees on into his 60’s – right alongside his grandchildren.
#1 – OK. Civilization? Yeah. It is all about you guys. =)
And that’s why my idealized video game self is usually female.
Because you’re awesome. WAY awesomer than men. All of you are.
