Two Antennae meet on a roof, fall in love, and get married. The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.
Two Hydrogen Atoms walk into a bar. One says “I’ve lost my Electron!”. The other says, “Are you sure?”. The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The Bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything…”
So, a dyslexic man walks into a bra…
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, “Bartender, a beer please, and one for the road…”
A sandwich walks into a bar. The Bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.”
Doc, I can’t stop singing ‘The Green Green Grass of Home’.”
“That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome”.
“Is it common?”
“It’s Not Unusual”.
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet and says, “My dog is crosseyed, is there anything you can do for him?”
“Well,” says the vet, ” Let’s have a look at him.”
So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, and then checks his teeth. Finally, he says, “I’m going to have to put him down.”
“What? Because he’s crosseyed?”
“No, because he’s really heavy.”
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them. It’s either my Mom or my Dad, or maybe my older brother Colin, or my younger sister Mei-Lien. But I’m pretty sure it’s Colin.
I went to buy camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn’t find any.
I went to a seafood disco last week. I pulled a mussel.
Two Eskimos sitting in a boat were chilly. They lit a fire. They sank. Just proves you can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
A termite walks into a bar and asks, “Is the bar tender here?”
What do you call a fish with no eyes…
…a fsh.
=)