My mom sent me the first part of this earlier today. I set the first section in 1974 (the rest of that part is mostly just typo and capitalization fixes), and then I added the next two sections. Enjoy!
1974:
A man was sick and tired Of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
“Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home, watches her stories, and eats bon bons. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Thank you, Lord.”
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish..
The next morning, sure enough, The man awoke as a woman…
He arose, cooked breakfast For his mate, woke the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home, wrote out checks to pay the bills, put them in envelopes, addressed them, stamped them and then balanced the check book.
He picked up the dry cleaning, dropped it off to the cleaners, stopped at the bank to deposit his paycheck, stopped at the Post Office to buy another book of stamps, went grocery shopping, drove home.
He put away the groceries, cleaned the cat’s litter box, picked up the dog poop from the back yard, bathed the dog, made the beds, did the laundry, vacuumed, dusted, swept and mopped the kitchen floor before returning to the school to pick up the kids. Got into an argument with the 8 year old on the way home.
He set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework, set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.
At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.
After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded the laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren’t finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: –
“Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s’ being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh! Please, let us trade back.. Amen!”
The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:
“My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You’ll just have to wait nine months, though. You got pregnant last night.”
2011:
That man’s son (now 36) was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
“Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 10 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Thank you, Lord.”
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish..
The next morning, sure enough, The man awoke as a woman…alone. His wife had showered, dressed, and left while he was sleeping so she could “beat most of the morning traffic”.
He woke the kids, tossed some matching clothes for the 5 and 7 year old on their beds, and yelled at the 9 year old to hurry up and get dressed, or he’d be late for school..again.
He microwaved some Breakfast Hot Pockets for the 5 and 7 year old. The 9 year old made a bowl of cereal.
He shuffled all three out the door (after putting a check in an envelope for the 9 year old to give to the Lunch Supervisor to refill their 3 meal accounts for the month) to walk the 10 minutes to school – because that’s probably the only real exercise they’d get today.
After they left, he checked the banking app on phone to make sure that his Direct Deposit was there, and then he adjusted the amount on the Bill Pay for the Power and Water bills to match the Amount Due listed in the Paperless Bills they sent him. He made another electronic payment on the Credit Card Bill.
He sat down with his laptop at the kitchen table and bought groceries from the local grocery store online, and scheduled delivery for 4pm. He cleaned the cat’s litter box, and bathed the dog, checked to make sure the kids had “made their beds” (which looks a lot like “pulling the blankets up to the pillows all the way across” to most people) and started a load of laundry in the LG All In One Ventless Washer/Dryer Combo. Then he dusted the stuff on entertainment center, making sure to step around the Roomba while it was vacuuming. He sat back down at the laptop, and read Facebook for a while, making sure to tend his Farm. He put the dishes from the dishwasher away, and stayed out of the way of the Squba while it was mopping the kitchen floor for the day. At 1 pm, he drove over to Curves for a workout – because the gym in the apartment complex sucked.
At 2:30, drove to the school to pick up the kids. Got into an argument with the 8 year old on the way home (some things never change!).
Set out the bag of Gluten-Free Organic Trail Mix and organized who got to do their homework on the computer first,
At 3:45, the Grocery Truck showed up, and the pimply faced kid brought 4 crates of groceries from the truck at the curb upstairs, and into the kitchen. He put the groceries away from the counter where they were delivered.
At 5:15, he sat down and watched iCarly (via OnDemand) with the kids on the 46″ LCD TV. Then they took turns playing Dance Central on the Xbox for a half hour. Perhaps the walk to school wasn’t the *only* exercise they’d get today, after all!
At 6:15, he set aside a bag of salad, put the steak into the bag of marinade and set it in the fridge to do its thing for an hour before cooking it for dinner.
At 8:00, he cleaned the kitchen, put the dishes in the dishwasher and set it to start after a 3 hour delay, folded the laundry while his wife was about bathing the girls, and then they put the kids to bed.
At 9:30, he and his wife laid in bed put on Law and Order: SVU, and talked about their days (Today, she said, they upgraded the email system at work, and nothing worked for 5 hours. Sounds like fun! *not*)
They’d already seen this one, so they put on Conan and half-watched it while they read The Help on his Kindle, and on her iPad. They turned out the lights and got down to business. They fell asleep sweaty and satisfied.
The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: – Lord, I don’t know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife’s’ being able to stay home all day. Please, Oh!, Please, let us trade back. I’d go crazy living this life!”
‘The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied: “My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. Be good about showing her how much you appreciate her and the things she does, and be glad you went to the doctor got “the snip” after #3, or you’d have been in for a real surprise!”
THE REAL STORY
In 2011, that man’s 36 year old son was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home. He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:
“Dear Lord, I go to work every day and put in 10 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through. So, please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Thank you, Lord.”
God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man’s wish..
The next morning, sure enough, The man awoke as a woman…alone. His wife had showered, dressed, and left while he was sleeping so she could “beat most of the morning traffic”.
He woke the kids, and got them shuffled successfully out the door.
Nothing else got done that week, as the man was too busy playing with his new boobies.
LOL Great joke!!!